Why people think they were lot more happy before marriage?

It all starts when families look for a spouse, most of them have one of the below requirements;

·         Boy’s families look for a girl who will suit their family and keep their relationship with their son intact - they never consider what the boy cares for.

·         Boy looks for a girl who suits his mentality - this always contradicts from his parent’s requirements and sometimes beauty is deceptive.

·         Girls family look for a boy who would take care of their girl as they have done - they either care less or more if he does that after marriage (both are unhealthy)

·         Girl looks for a guy who would understand her needs and support/care her alone all the time irrespective of the scenario - no boy would like to do that.

As you can see most of the requirements are self contradictory for any of the combinations. It always ends up having one of the parties settling for what they get. This would be accepted for some time and that time is when magic of new marriage plays, once that fades all the unsettled requirements raise up, without knowing what is right or wrong, we go ahead doing it thinking to be right; which always ends up with a fight and the consequences are as per the handling abilities of the individual.

Why is that there is such a good chance of a fight between mother and the spouse?

·         Mother and spouse both always care for you. They want you to recognize their effort which always falls in the equation; “Succeeding on ones recognition means Failure on the other ".

·         Irrespective of what they promised while at the time of married they want different things after marriage.

·         You are not far behind, you complain on both of them against each other at different scenarios without knowing you are only adding gas to the flame.

·         Most of your decision is taken considering not what you think is right but who you think is right.

Solution to this is not constructive.

It is not easy to not fall in any of these categories, although there are many of them who have lived happily, reason being they love their families (be it parents or spouse).

Bottom line is: Complain about your marriage and the tough time you are going through, coz that is what makes you love your family more then what you used to.

Note: This is an analysis on some of the incidents and scenarios I have been, seen and heard off. Not sure if this is credible enough to be claimed as a reflection from the society.

-Pavan Kumar Venugopal